gRanGEr, in... loNeLiesT pLAce iN tHE woRLd

well, I am back from a night of galavanting about. Well.. kind of. I had to work today. That was okay. I almost left early, but I let Cristina go. I never go, but I thought about it... What exactly would I do? I had no plans except to hit up the pizza king where dan was supposed to play a little before elvis. Well that was tonite. But before I delve into that, lets go back to oh say... thursday.... Thursday I had the whole thing off and Lauren wnever called. Never. So, then me and brandon and dan went to steak n' shake. We had Jamie again and things were back to normal. My god that was a good time. Things were even more hilarious if that is even possible. Just the wacked up things that those kids come up with. And they accuse me of being high? hehe. But that was our longest stay except i think for the original time when me and brandon went. I was worried that it wouldn't be as much fun, but it was. A pleasant surprise indeed. So I came home and got online for awhile messed around a little and then went to bed at 4:34 am. I watched the sun start to rise and fell fast asleep. I woke up around eleven the next day, took a shower and went to work. It was a very very very (did i say very?) long day at work. I don'[t know why but it sucked. And then I got home..... To say the least things happend and I was late to Whitneys house who was taking me to the silverhawks game. I think her dad was very upset and I felt bad, but i couldn't help being late. And worse it was almost a half an hour... ugh. So we went ate a little supper and me and whit kinda hung out the entire time. We had some good conversations and I had a few revelations, she had a few cookies and we both laughed our asses off. No matter what, whenever i am with whitney, we laugh. Because i make her laugh and then i laugh cause she is laughing, I don't know, but it's always the most fun that way isn't it? Yes, yes it is. So I watched the game, we won, woo, who cares fire works was the only reason i came. Now I have been thinking about this, why does South Bend ever have a baseball team? Do we ever root for them? Do you hear about die hard Silver Hawks fans? Hell no. I think it is one big waste of money and can't believe that these people get paid to suck. But then again so does Trent Yeoman so I guess.. why not? Besides that I went home and fell fast asleep. So today I went to work like I said before. Iwas thinking about going to dan's thing and called whit. She said she would call me when she was on her way, but I decided I wanted to leave my house. I couldn't stay here anymore. It seems like my family is way to happy to see me all the time. I know that I an oodles cooler these days, but i don't like the way they are acting. They just want to talk to me all the time. My mom says I am never home anymore. I wonder why? I have an f-ing job! I work all the time and when I am not working I am making the best effort I can to see my lovely friends who are off and about enjoying their lives. So I just can't stand being around the house too much. I grabbed my copy of the Great Gatsby and ran away. I sat at pizza king for a while eating my breadsticks and cheese and sipping my coke when dan sits down. Didn't get to play tonite. Pity. So, I ate for a while talked to him until he had to go back to the kitchen and made an effort to stay until whit got there. I sat alone and I felt like a loser. So, I left. Paid the bill after another 30 minutes and when down the road to DQ. You know, to see my other friends who were working. Court, Lauren and Greg were working. Doug was there too... big surprise. I talked to him a little (very little) and sat down. It is very hard these days to make conversation with him. Doug that is. It's painful, almost like talking to an ex-boyfriend only .... (shiver) that thought disgusts me beyond... (shiver) just ew. But I can't talk to him. I saw his little borther Joey. I miss joey a lot. He was a cool kid and when I was talking to Lauren at the register, he came up next to me and I put my arm around him and he put his arm around me and said "Long time since I saw you last..." He is the only one in that little circle (Lauren, Doug, Doug's Family) that I can still talk to comfortably. And keep in mind he will be going into the fourth grade. I know he knows things aren't right between me and his brother and they never will be, but Joey will always be the coolest kid in that family in my book. So at the DQ i got a sundae. Yes, more food. Then Whit called and she came and sat with me for about an hour. Greg kept coming by and talking to us and Lauren stopped in and out as she could I mean she was at work. When Whit left I sat by myself for a while and read some more. It was a nice little place to read. Lauren came by only once more and we didn't speak... Things between me and her aren't right either I guess. It is just hard to get a conversation with her. I don't know what to say. It is painful. And for the first time tonight I realized that our friendship is fairly gone. I can't tell her the things I used to with even half the enthusiasim. She has missed so much of my life and there are so many thoughts of mine she should already know to understand me and she doesn't. She is so far behind and I don't even have the will to catch her up. I can't even look at her. There is so much to say... too much to say. I wouldn't know where to start. And I don't know what to do. Sitting alone I realized that Granger is the lonliest place in the world. I couldn't find one friend to spend the evening with. All of my friends have to work on a saturday night, or already have plans, or boyfriends, or girlfriends. I need to find something to do. Where did all those friends go? What happend to those people I was talking to? Alright call me. I know you have the ability. We'll do something. If you are smart enough to decode it, then you get it. And can then harass me all that you want. Just make sure it is fun some of the time. 514-8814