iNto The LiGhT of thE daRK BLaCk nigHt

As i walked to a dinner i had alone tonight, i heard/saw three men acting out the three stages of a break up. And of course, it had to be in reverse. The first person was walking past me and i heard him say "You know, i just don't want to date her again." Good for him, he got past it and learned to move on. The second person was inside of the dining court. He was surrounded by his friends who all at once said "No! You don't want to go back to her. She wasn't fun." He looked somewhat better. I kept walking to the other side of the court and found a table. I sat, pulled out a crossword puzzle, and looked at a guy that was sitting at a table just across from me. He was slumped over, looked like he'd been crying, just sitting there. Not really eating, just waiting, for something that never came. I don't know he broke up with someone, but it looked like it. He might have just been lonely, but, I don't know. It's funny the way the world does things sometimes.
Everything is fairly quiet here. No big happenings for me this weekend. I want to take this time and reflect on every type of person that i have been. Wait, no, i am still the same person i always was, and ever will be. People impressions of me, the way they view my behavior changes. I'm crazy, then i'm not. I'm a bitch, then i'm not. I'm pretending to be something, and then of course, i'm not.
I don't regret my life. I do regret some choices i have made. I have allowed foolish people to remain around, when i have had the opportunity time and again to call it quits. To make the smart choice and just let it all go. Do for myself what is healthy, and right and forget all of the rest. Someday i'll grow up and realize this. But i want to do something about it now. I don't want to put up with this anymore. I don't want to tiptoe on eggshells.
Solitude for me is the most dangerous thing i can think of. Causes me to reflect, search the internet endlessly, drudge up the past. I don't like it, but it always seems to be there. Hanging over me. And all i want is for it to end.
I walk around campus with my ipod on and i listen to the Beatles. I wonder how many other people in the world are listening to them too. There are so many people in the world. I even wonder if there is someone, just one other person out there that might be listening to the very same song. And i wonder who they are. And i wonder if i'll ever meet them. I doubt that i will. I doubt they exist. But what if they do, and i've even already met them? We'd never know. We never could. Would they honestly remember that they listened to Blackbird at 3:27 pm this past friday?