So tHiS is WHAt iT's cOMe to, GoODbYe ON a BLOg
Good night, good evening everyone. I just thought i would let out a little frustration out into this little blog of mine. (What else do i ever do on this thing?) (Wait, i cause trouble saying things i shouldn't, make memories, confess undying love, and a bunch of other stuff.) Tonight is definately bitch post though. I got the warning on there. If you don't like it, fuck off. In the nicest possible way!
Friday: So the day after thanksgiving, me and my mom definately got into a screaming match. It was fan-fucking-tabulous. I hate her a lot. She started in on my friends again. She didn't know why i wanted to spend time with them when they are in town. May i ask, what the fuck? Did she even listen to the question? I don't know what it is that she wanted me to say. I told her since i wasn't allowed to go down to Purdue and vist them on weekends, i like to spend a bunch of time with them when home. I don't think she realizes that there are like five people i want to see and they aren't all in the same place at the same time. I told them i don't really get to talk to them on the phone a lot, and this is completely true. I told her that college is important to the majority of people, i don't really think that my friends are an exception. She proceeded to tell me, "Mayabe they have just found better things to do at school, you know, move on." She is the source of all things evil. I am now convinced. I told her that that really isn't true and i hate it when she says it. Cause as easy as it would seem to just dismiss it, it really gets to me for some reason and then i start to question my friends and i piss them off, or neglect them or try to strengthen my bonds here and completely neglect them, i basically told her that she causes a ton of uneeded shit in my life. And it really hurts me, she really hurts me a lot. Then she proceeded to throw a temper tantrum and get all pissed off and start crying and tell me that she will not take me to work anymore and "If your friends are so fucking amazing, have them tote your ass around." Thanks mom. I love you too. If she hadn't had to take my grandma home on friday, she wouldn't have taken me. Then i had to call my dad to pick me up from work, cause she wouldn't do it. Bitch... She wouldn't take me to work again today. I had to have brandon take me, and i asked scott to pick me up. I feel like, stupid. And i feel bad for asking for favors. But since scott forgot me and cristina took me home, i don't feel too bad about asking him, but now i feel bad about asking cristina. I don't know. She needs to get over it. But that wasn't all. Then last night after i got home from work she yelled at me and told me something else. I don't know. I try to stop listening to her. I do remember that she said i come and go as i please. (she loves to tell me that a lot, she told my sister that a lot too...) And i said i am actually home a lot of the time, just in my room. She said yea, everytime you are home, you barely say two words. I said, i never talk to you because you always get made at me. Not matter what i say. I just stop talking to you so i don't piss you off anymore. See, i started talking to you this morning and what did i do? Now you are not going to help me go to work and not pay for my car (yea, she won't pick up the bill for the car anymore either.) So, i just yes... i hate this MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE!! GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!
Ahh, that feels a lot better. Oh wait, only one thing left. Like i said, scott was supposed to pick me up tonight, but didn't. I'm over it. But because i had to come back to my house, my dad told me, i didn't need to go out (my curfew wasn't for another hour). I said fine, but i want to have the guys over for a couple hours cause it is dan's birthday tonight. He said, NO. I asked him why? "You can take one night off". Sonofabitch. I go to work all fucking day and the moment i get home i get the "don't have a social life". I told him that everyone was leaving again tomorrow and that unless by some miracle i get them to get up and go to breakfast with me, i won't see them until christmas. Not that far off, but i have a present for dan, and i would like to see scott for more than what, an hour, maybe two? And it never hurts to see dan more. That kid is like alcohol, you can never have too much.... Or something like that... But yea, no, i can't see them. He said "i don't need to see them every night..." wow, i don't think that my parents could know me any less. But they seem to impress me more as time goes on. So i will be working tomorrow from nine to six, won't see my friends, don't get my car back for another two weeks, about the time i will see them again, and hmmm... i wonder what else could go wrong.... i thought of a few things, my parents might possibly give me a stricter curfew, make me quit my job, my grandma could die (she has been really sick lately, i can't even think about an indiana without her, i would seriously run away from home and get emancipated), and i could get hit by a bus.. wait, that would never happen. I don't ride the bus. so, i officially have no one left in this specific house that makes me smile. Damn.
The weirdest thing happend today, my mom came in and brought me twenty bucks, money for my phone, and a not that said "We need to talk". I don't want to talk. I want to sulk in my room. I want to jack her in the face a couple of time. I could name a few other choice words for her or a couple more moves of abuse. None of these things include talking to her. It's just one of those times that i think i should get to be mad. Alas, when a girl is without a mode of transporation and she can't yet run away, sometime she has to face things. I still don't want to.
That's pretty much it. That pretty much is everything. I hate my life here. At least for tonight. I don't even want to think how i am going to get to my job tomorrow. It is gonna suck to say the least. I may have to ask my G-Ma which is seriously the last thing i want to do. And i know she is just going to tell me to borrow her car, and i can't tell her no, and i can't take it. I am fucked either way. And yes i did re-read my entire post and i realize how whiney and bitchy and little kid like i may sound, but i warned you ahead of time. I think everyone is entitled to be this stupid once in a while. I was unjustly prosecuted and bitched at and a million other things. I fukcing hate everything right now (excpet my choice friends, my school, and anything that doesn't directly realate to my blood family. Cause they seem to suck.) I can't do the whole local college thing. I was thinking maybe to save money, but no fucking way. I hate it here. Oh, and did i mention I HATE IT HERE!!!
Looks like i don't get to say goodbye to the kids who are going away face to face. And i don't get a hug which is what i will be missing the most. Damn... oh well... two weeks. I am not worried. But finals are ahead.. sonofabitch. All i can say is fuck it right now. I will talk to all of you soon. Promise i'll be calling, it's more like a threat. hehe. Ahh, i am just going to curl up for a nice nine hour nap and get ready to work my ass off some more. Work Schedule includes, monday, tuesday, wednesday this week. And choir practice on sat and concert on sundad which is why she couldn't schedule me. Then next week, practice, monday, wednesday, concert thursday, friday, (work on saturday), another concert on sunday. I hate choir. But if i wasn't at practice i would be working, and also making money. Yea i fucking hate choir. I am just gonna stop thinking about it. I can't or i might strangle someone. Alas, no one seems to be around. Meh, i'll find someone. Mom and dad and brother are downstairs. So many possibilities.... Oi!.
Love you muchas! Have a good time back at college kids. Hope your break was fan-fucking-tastic. I know that it was. And someday i will hear all about it... Goodnight sweetheart goodnight.
Lucky for me, dan and brandon threw snowballs at my window not two minutes ago so i was able to hug dan good bye. Hey, one out of four is better than none.
Friday: So the day after thanksgiving, me and my mom definately got into a screaming match. It was fan-fucking-tabulous. I hate her a lot. She started in on my friends again. She didn't know why i wanted to spend time with them when they are in town. May i ask, what the fuck? Did she even listen to the question? I don't know what it is that she wanted me to say. I told her since i wasn't allowed to go down to Purdue and vist them on weekends, i like to spend a bunch of time with them when home. I don't think she realizes that there are like five people i want to see and they aren't all in the same place at the same time. I told them i don't really get to talk to them on the phone a lot, and this is completely true. I told her that college is important to the majority of people, i don't really think that my friends are an exception. She proceeded to tell me, "Mayabe they have just found better things to do at school, you know, move on." She is the source of all things evil. I am now convinced. I told her that that really isn't true and i hate it when she says it. Cause as easy as it would seem to just dismiss it, it really gets to me for some reason and then i start to question my friends and i piss them off, or neglect them or try to strengthen my bonds here and completely neglect them, i basically told her that she causes a ton of uneeded shit in my life. And it really hurts me, she really hurts me a lot. Then she proceeded to throw a temper tantrum and get all pissed off and start crying and tell me that she will not take me to work anymore and "If your friends are so fucking amazing, have them tote your ass around." Thanks mom. I love you too. If she hadn't had to take my grandma home on friday, she wouldn't have taken me. Then i had to call my dad to pick me up from work, cause she wouldn't do it. Bitch... She wouldn't take me to work again today. I had to have brandon take me, and i asked scott to pick me up. I feel like, stupid. And i feel bad for asking for favors. But since scott forgot me and cristina took me home, i don't feel too bad about asking him, but now i feel bad about asking cristina. I don't know. She needs to get over it. But that wasn't all. Then last night after i got home from work she yelled at me and told me something else. I don't know. I try to stop listening to her. I do remember that she said i come and go as i please. (she loves to tell me that a lot, she told my sister that a lot too...) And i said i am actually home a lot of the time, just in my room. She said yea, everytime you are home, you barely say two words. I said, i never talk to you because you always get made at me. Not matter what i say. I just stop talking to you so i don't piss you off anymore. See, i started talking to you this morning and what did i do? Now you are not going to help me go to work and not pay for my car (yea, she won't pick up the bill for the car anymore either.) So, i just yes... i hate this MOTHER FUCKING HOUSE!! GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!
Ahh, that feels a lot better. Oh wait, only one thing left. Like i said, scott was supposed to pick me up tonight, but didn't. I'm over it. But because i had to come back to my house, my dad told me, i didn't need to go out (my curfew wasn't for another hour). I said fine, but i want to have the guys over for a couple hours cause it is dan's birthday tonight. He said, NO. I asked him why? "You can take one night off". Sonofabitch. I go to work all fucking day and the moment i get home i get the "don't have a social life". I told him that everyone was leaving again tomorrow and that unless by some miracle i get them to get up and go to breakfast with me, i won't see them until christmas. Not that far off, but i have a present for dan, and i would like to see scott for more than what, an hour, maybe two? And it never hurts to see dan more. That kid is like alcohol, you can never have too much.... Or something like that... But yea, no, i can't see them. He said "i don't need to see them every night..." wow, i don't think that my parents could know me any less. But they seem to impress me more as time goes on. So i will be working tomorrow from nine to six, won't see my friends, don't get my car back for another two weeks, about the time i will see them again, and hmmm... i wonder what else could go wrong.... i thought of a few things, my parents might possibly give me a stricter curfew, make me quit my job, my grandma could die (she has been really sick lately, i can't even think about an indiana without her, i would seriously run away from home and get emancipated), and i could get hit by a bus.. wait, that would never happen. I don't ride the bus. so, i officially have no one left in this specific house that makes me smile. Damn.
The weirdest thing happend today, my mom came in and brought me twenty bucks, money for my phone, and a not that said "We need to talk". I don't want to talk. I want to sulk in my room. I want to jack her in the face a couple of time. I could name a few other choice words for her or a couple more moves of abuse. None of these things include talking to her. It's just one of those times that i think i should get to be mad. Alas, when a girl is without a mode of transporation and she can't yet run away, sometime she has to face things. I still don't want to.
That's pretty much it. That pretty much is everything. I hate my life here. At least for tonight. I don't even want to think how i am going to get to my job tomorrow. It is gonna suck to say the least. I may have to ask my G-Ma which is seriously the last thing i want to do. And i know she is just going to tell me to borrow her car, and i can't tell her no, and i can't take it. I am fucked either way. And yes i did re-read my entire post and i realize how whiney and bitchy and little kid like i may sound, but i warned you ahead of time. I think everyone is entitled to be this stupid once in a while. I was unjustly prosecuted and bitched at and a million other things. I fukcing hate everything right now (excpet my choice friends, my school, and anything that doesn't directly realate to my blood family. Cause they seem to suck.) I can't do the whole local college thing. I was thinking maybe to save money, but no fucking way. I hate it here. Oh, and did i mention I HATE IT HERE!!!
Looks like i don't get to say goodbye to the kids who are going away face to face. And i don't get a hug which is what i will be missing the most. Damn... oh well... two weeks. I am not worried. But finals are ahead.. sonofabitch. All i can say is fuck it right now. I will talk to all of you soon. Promise i'll be calling, it's more like a threat. hehe. Ahh, i am just going to curl up for a nice nine hour nap and get ready to work my ass off some more. Work Schedule includes, monday, tuesday, wednesday this week. And choir practice on sat and concert on sundad which is why she couldn't schedule me. Then next week, practice, monday, wednesday, concert thursday, friday, (work on saturday), another concert on sunday. I hate choir. But if i wasn't at practice i would be working, and also making money. Yea i fucking hate choir. I am just gonna stop thinking about it. I can't or i might strangle someone. Alas, no one seems to be around. Meh, i'll find someone. Mom and dad and brother are downstairs. So many possibilities.... Oi!.
Love you muchas! Have a good time back at college kids. Hope your break was fan-fucking-tastic. I know that it was. And someday i will hear all about it... Goodnight sweetheart goodnight.
Lucky for me, dan and brandon threw snowballs at my window not two minutes ago so i was able to hug dan good bye. Hey, one out of four is better than none.
posted by chelC | 11:51 PM
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