mY LiFE cHAnGEd...

Don't want to get your hopes falsely up, it's not really true. My life hasn't changed at all. But i really love that song by william fitzsimmons that says that line. The whole thing is, "since the day that you were hit by that car, my life changed" I guess that is all to pertinent to my life. I guess that's something i am just going to have to get used to... And i never will. So don't get your hopes up. I'll only have them come crashing down to the floor again. I do that alot. With hearts, dreams, ambitions, a lot dealing with other people. But there is no way that i am going to fix myself. I don't even have the drive to do any of my homework anymore. It makes my life more interesting trying to scramble in the day finding excess minutes to do the homework i just haven't finished for the following hour. That's how i now live my life on the edge... sad as hell and i don't even care.
I am turning in the greatest character piece i may have ever written tomorrow to Mr. Sauer. I really like his class, but his writing style and the things that he enjoys sometimes get me. I fear that he will rip it to shreads. I don't think i could reformat it and turn it in again if he says no. I think iwill just keep it on this blog and realize that it was not meant to live in the real world. It's so beautiful in my mind, but i am taking a chance. It's something that i just don't do enough. If i am supposedly so fucking eloquent about the way i phrase things, then this should be a piece of cake right? Not really because the paragraphing is weird and there are a ton of punctuations. I don't know if i would call them errors because they are technically all supposed to be there... i don't know. But i will know soon.
It's very hard to just have a conversation anymore. It's like writing a letter, you have nothing to go on but yourself. It's almost like talking to yourself, not always about yourself, but sometimes. I could really go for never talking again. I felt that way only fifteen minutes ago. I feel like i have said everything that there is to say. I also wouldn't get in nearly as much trouble if it weren't for the fact that i open my mouth when i shouldn't. It's a crazy idea, but a vow of silence would seem right up my alley. How many times can you say the same things over and over before you realize how boring they are. I never want to be boring. That's why i am always keeping you guessing.
I had chocolate for the first time today in perhaps the longest stretch of time known to man. It was pure chocolate. I don't know why that is such an amazing thing... it really isn't I guess you forget how much you love something when it is out of your life for so long. Things, feelings, people. It's all the same idea at heart. But then when you have a lot of them, you just are tired of them. They never excited you the way that they used to. I wonder sometimes how people can be in love forever and never get tired of the person they were with. Shouldn't time just make it impossible for tow people to remain so devoted. Perhaps it is just that i still have the attention span of a child... but i really don't think that's it. How can a person have the attention of s six year old and a patience of a sixty year old?! It doens't make any sense... i see this post is starting to fail at life as well...
I am really tired. I feel that i just don't update this enough. I really should put my everyday happenings and random conversations on here... Something is always holding me back though.. i a, sure one day i will figure it out. Until then i am going to listen to willaim (just another reason to name my son that) and adam. William Adam... that sounds pretty good actually. Either that or Adam William. I still like the first better...
To everyone i wish you pleasant dreams.