'cause we'LL aLways be iN Love

I know right now that there is no way this is going to be sufficient time to write everything that i want to. I don't know what it is about writing that is so relieving in a time of pain and what not. Even though, this isn't really a time of pain at all, i just feel like writing and looking at my thoughts from a reasonable distance. It may help me grapple with everything that right now i am failing to.
I like the idea that this has been abandoned by the people i know. And by this i mean blogspot. No one updates theirs anymore. Dan of course left it the way that why would you want to ruin this chapter in life by adding anything else new, it's not needed. I feel more complete lately. Like after this long while of waiting, with no resolution, things are finally final. This is like a tree house that we all used to come and hang out in. Pretend with eachother that life was full of interesting adventures and there was so much in the universe to speculate on. I still come back here and speculate. I look up at the expanse of memory still left in these coded pages and laugh. I read the demise of such good friendships and weep. This isn't a daily thing for me, in fact it is really hard to write a meaningful entry at all. I come here, log in, and can't seem to write what exactly it is that i want because i don't know what i want to say. This is why the blog has seemed inactive for nearly two months... dang. I swore i would never get it that bad.
I'm dating Scott now. It's just weird to say it out loud. Because while these words are right, they don't really say everything... and that's when i have to go to work and add to this later, which i probably won't.