GeT aWay fRoM Me, tHis isN'T gOnnA Be EaSY, But i DoN't NeEd YoU, BeLiEve mE

yea you got a piece of me, but it's just a little piece of me. I don't need any one these days.
I wish i knew what it was that i was supposed to say now. I find it kinda hard. I won't lie, really hard. Really really hard.
I can't express myself here. This is ridiculous. How are you supposed to show tears on a web page. How are you supposed to hear when someone's voice breaks or how they can only whisper? How can you describe how memories hit you like heart attacks? I've been hiding the truth for a very long time. I have started friendships and then everything after the initial has been one long lie. Something that wasn't even close to true. Not even close to real. I don't even know what i am saying, so i'm just gonna end this paragraph.
I know that i should write something down. I feel that i should. I am some how compelled to keep typing through my moments of breaking. I'm not sure why yet.
Oh, i think i'll recount the happenings of my saturday night with a lot of omisions for my sake. I went to work. I called back scott because he has called me. I didn't really feel like talking to him. I told him we would chill... i didn't know about that in all actuality. He came to my work with brandon. I went home. He called me and asked why i was avoiding him. Anything i said would be a lie so why not just deny it? So i did. I went home. I got another call that told me to come to Steak n' Shake. I went. I sat. I listened to my ipod. I... can't do this. Not tonight, not ever again.