dO YOu SuppOse tHaT i wOULd cOMe RunNinG, Do yoU sUPPoSe i'D cOme aT aLL?
It's another time when i clean out the cob webs and let all of my past posts that i could just never finish, that i just forgot about and saved as drafts, free. We'll do this now, before i go to sleep.
7/27/2006
Do you ever get the feeling that you're trying to hold on to something that is already gone? I get that feeling all the time. I get that feeling more and more as time goes on. But shouldn't i get to fight. Don't I get a say in how all of this ends?
10/16/2006
tHe DuSt hAS oNLy juSt beGuN tO fORm cRop CiRCLes iN thE CaRpeT
I worry about robotics, a lot. I got an e-mail from langfeldt cancelling the work for PTO concessions on friday and i just felt very depressed about it. I had that defeatd feeling and then after fighting with him for a half an hour today, as a team, it just sunk in even lower. We got the right to do the concessions again, but we have to organize it completely on our own and Langfeldt is not going to say another word about it except for the amount of money that we might raise from it. That and i feel like the iSold it fundraiser is doing absolutely nothing, especially since after two days we have collected a lamp. One lamp. Kids don't donate, that's my conclusion. Now i am trying to wrack my brain to find any other way to raise money.Now, you would think that would have meant that i had a horrible day today, but no. I got a good grade on my Calc Test and i kicked some serious ass on my Psych test today. Even in robotics i finally sat down with Sean and we figured out the slide show for the SAE meeting. That and we talked about class and he had such a good outlook on it that it made me feel a lot better. He's really a nice guy. Kyle talked to me for a few minutes and made me feel better, even Steve and i had a few words at the end of class and shared a much needed laugh. Today was just one of those days that we connected and it felt good.Today, and right now, i miss seattle a lot. Just thinking about the city and how gorgeous it is, i wish i was there right now. Seattle is so urban, but i don't feel like the world is passing me by there. It's a relaxed and lovely place. Who wouldn't want to go to college there, or live there, and die there. It makes me smile to think about it. I just want to walk, i could probably walk forever in a long winter jacket with a scarf. If it rains, an umberella and boots, looking at everything so green and beautiful. Yes, i just want to go walking... and i like how it's now raining outside.
12/04/2006
iF i kiSS yOU wHErE iT's SoRE WouLd YoU FeEL bETtER, wOuLD yOU fEEL AnYthinG at ALL
It's cold in this room, but i don't feel like going anywhere else. In fact, the cold is kinda nice. Today i was walking out to my car after practice with David and Evan, and it felt so nice to walk through the snow. I had on my sweet grey coat and my nice wool scarf and my lovely sandals; it made me love the winter, at least for now. That and there is just something about laughing in the snow, walking with two of your best friends that makes you feel like life means something, in this moment. I then drove David and Evan to their cars, and somehow that was also fun. Nothing at all means almost everything.This week is going to be a lot of hell, but right now, i am pretty satisfied with the way things are working out. I wish i wasn't so tired, and i just wish that there was more time. All of these concerts are going to be fun, I can tell. I dont' care what people say, i have a good time performing. I don't love choir but i love the rush. Investing emotion and getting so much back is something i would rather do than feel like complete shit the entire time and hate it.I'm not ready for this year to be over, but it almost is. Half way there and i feel like i just got here. I don't know what i want to do, how i am going to make it through this and not miss it all terribly.
But now a little of the present after all that of the past.
My computer screen is moving a little bit. Just slightly up and down, i see it in the reflection of the light coming through the window. It's moving with my heart beat. I know, weird, and really interesting to me. But i am easily interested, that's a lie, btw. But i guess there's nothing you can do.I feel a lot cleaner right now than i did. I'm not back at pristine comfort yet. It was one hell of a week. Chamber choir had four performances i think. This was right after finishing our own concerts on sunday, man was that a bit of hell. Then on tuesday we performed almost a full set for the 8th graders. they came to penn for a shortened version of our december concert and it was draining, but at least then we didn't do anything in choir. It was relaxing. Then on thursday we had a performance at the Lion's Club at lunch and then at 5:15 we had to be at the GCC for a performance at 7:00. I was so tired after that performance. Plus there had been musical try-outs the day before and i made chorus. That audition proved to be a little draining, i won't lie. Then yesterday was a full day of school and a performance right after at the Mendoza school of business at Notre Dame. I went home immediately and wrapped my dirty bingo gift and went to the Hollaway christmas party. It was fun, and i wore myself out playing Disney Charades, and then i went to Lauren's Christmaka party for a very short period of time because, shit man i was damn tired. I then went home and passed out.
Now here i am. Last week before christmas break, only one more performance at O'Shaunasey hall, a huge paper due, a test in econ, a calculous final with two parts, and a little musical practice stands between me and the finish line. I am going to get this done. I am bound and determined to make it, like i almost always do. I hope i finish strong, i just want to sleep forever and enjoy the time that i have off. I am only six months away from graduating. Scary thought... these are the days i am going to look back on when i am thirty with two children and a husband. This is it.
More good times are to come, yeah, but i'm growing up. I would never have to go to school again if i didn't want to after this year. I will, but the option, sure is nice.
I'm going to take another hotter bath hopefully.
January and February are going to kill me. I'm just letting everyone know now.
7/27/2006
Do you ever get the feeling that you're trying to hold on to something that is already gone? I get that feeling all the time. I get that feeling more and more as time goes on. But shouldn't i get to fight. Don't I get a say in how all of this ends?
10/16/2006
tHe DuSt hAS oNLy juSt beGuN tO fORm cRop CiRCLes iN thE CaRpeT
I worry about robotics, a lot. I got an e-mail from langfeldt cancelling the work for PTO concessions on friday and i just felt very depressed about it. I had that defeatd feeling and then after fighting with him for a half an hour today, as a team, it just sunk in even lower. We got the right to do the concessions again, but we have to organize it completely on our own and Langfeldt is not going to say another word about it except for the amount of money that we might raise from it. That and i feel like the iSold it fundraiser is doing absolutely nothing, especially since after two days we have collected a lamp. One lamp. Kids don't donate, that's my conclusion. Now i am trying to wrack my brain to find any other way to raise money.Now, you would think that would have meant that i had a horrible day today, but no. I got a good grade on my Calc Test and i kicked some serious ass on my Psych test today. Even in robotics i finally sat down with Sean and we figured out the slide show for the SAE meeting. That and we talked about class and he had such a good outlook on it that it made me feel a lot better. He's really a nice guy. Kyle talked to me for a few minutes and made me feel better, even Steve and i had a few words at the end of class and shared a much needed laugh. Today was just one of those days that we connected and it felt good.Today, and right now, i miss seattle a lot. Just thinking about the city and how gorgeous it is, i wish i was there right now. Seattle is so urban, but i don't feel like the world is passing me by there. It's a relaxed and lovely place. Who wouldn't want to go to college there, or live there, and die there. It makes me smile to think about it. I just want to walk, i could probably walk forever in a long winter jacket with a scarf. If it rains, an umberella and boots, looking at everything so green and beautiful. Yes, i just want to go walking... and i like how it's now raining outside.
12/04/2006
iF i kiSS yOU wHErE iT's SoRE WouLd YoU FeEL bETtER, wOuLD yOU fEEL AnYthinG at ALL
It's cold in this room, but i don't feel like going anywhere else. In fact, the cold is kinda nice. Today i was walking out to my car after practice with David and Evan, and it felt so nice to walk through the snow. I had on my sweet grey coat and my nice wool scarf and my lovely sandals; it made me love the winter, at least for now. That and there is just something about laughing in the snow, walking with two of your best friends that makes you feel like life means something, in this moment. I then drove David and Evan to their cars, and somehow that was also fun. Nothing at all means almost everything.This week is going to be a lot of hell, but right now, i am pretty satisfied with the way things are working out. I wish i wasn't so tired, and i just wish that there was more time. All of these concerts are going to be fun, I can tell. I dont' care what people say, i have a good time performing. I don't love choir but i love the rush. Investing emotion and getting so much back is something i would rather do than feel like complete shit the entire time and hate it.I'm not ready for this year to be over, but it almost is. Half way there and i feel like i just got here. I don't know what i want to do, how i am going to make it through this and not miss it all terribly.
But now a little of the present after all that of the past.
My computer screen is moving a little bit. Just slightly up and down, i see it in the reflection of the light coming through the window. It's moving with my heart beat. I know, weird, and really interesting to me. But i am easily interested, that's a lie, btw. But i guess there's nothing you can do.I feel a lot cleaner right now than i did. I'm not back at pristine comfort yet. It was one hell of a week. Chamber choir had four performances i think. This was right after finishing our own concerts on sunday, man was that a bit of hell. Then on tuesday we performed almost a full set for the 8th graders. they came to penn for a shortened version of our december concert and it was draining, but at least then we didn't do anything in choir. It was relaxing. Then on thursday we had a performance at the Lion's Club at lunch and then at 5:15 we had to be at the GCC for a performance at 7:00. I was so tired after that performance. Plus there had been musical try-outs the day before and i made chorus. That audition proved to be a little draining, i won't lie. Then yesterday was a full day of school and a performance right after at the Mendoza school of business at Notre Dame. I went home immediately and wrapped my dirty bingo gift and went to the Hollaway christmas party. It was fun, and i wore myself out playing Disney Charades, and then i went to Lauren's Christmaka party for a very short period of time because, shit man i was damn tired. I then went home and passed out.
Now here i am. Last week before christmas break, only one more performance at O'Shaunasey hall, a huge paper due, a test in econ, a calculous final with two parts, and a little musical practice stands between me and the finish line. I am going to get this done. I am bound and determined to make it, like i almost always do. I hope i finish strong, i just want to sleep forever and enjoy the time that i have off. I am only six months away from graduating. Scary thought... these are the days i am going to look back on when i am thirty with two children and a husband. This is it.
More good times are to come, yeah, but i'm growing up. I would never have to go to school again if i didn't want to after this year. I will, but the option, sure is nice.
I'm going to take another hotter bath hopefully.
January and February are going to kill me. I'm just letting everyone know now.
posted by chelC | 12:48 PM
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