???
It has been a productive week. I am done with all my applications to college. Unless i get rejected by all of them, damn wouldn't that suck. But i feel good to know i am one of about fifty students from penn who already has their shit together and done. Mmmm. I applied for the chemical engineering program at Purdue, i hope i get in. The more i think about it, the more i wouldn'd mind going to Purude, you might actually say i want to go there. The only thing is that i don't want to live at Purdue, i would much rather live at IU. There are so many people who love me there, and want me there. Then again, if i were going to UW there would be no one who loves me. So, I guess, it doesn't really matter... UW is still top choice by the way. It just seems that the more time that goes by, the less i think that is even going to be a possibility. Although, it would be hella sweet.
A few nights ago, i finished some homework and distinctly remember going to my light switch and turning off the lights. I went back to my bed and lie there watching Band of Brothers glow from my computer screen. I fell asleep some time in between and then i opened my eyes and the lights were on and a familiar face was only about two feet away from my own. I laid on my side and looked at him as he said my name in the same caring fashion as i believe he used to. I reached out to touch his hand and mine went right through his. I knew it was a dream, i had a feeling about it and as i thought that, he started to fade away. I closed my eyes and believed with all my heart that it was not a dream and his voice came back stronger and i cracked open my eyes and he was a more solid form. But the longer i looked at him, the more he faded. I closed my eyes again, in hopes that it would make him stay. I became very aware of every movement he made around me and how real everything felt. He climbed over me and onto my bed. I heard the bed creak simultaneous with his wiehgt shifting onto the bed. He covered the both of us under my comforter and laid his hand on my face. I could feel the warmth, as he turned my face towards his and kissed me.
I have only had a remarkably real dream like this one other time in my life. Every time i do, it scares me. Being able to feel things in a dream just as they are in real life boggles me mind about the sense of reality and how much our brains are capable of controlling. It also makes me wonder why them? Why did we do that? Most of my dreams are imitating real life with a twist, but i notice that in my dreams i act the same way as if it were actually happening. Then there are some that are just so out there, and i wonder, what the hell does it mean? If anything.
I talked to Brandon on Wednesday. That was trying time indeed. I never felt so dangerously close to losing a friendship before. Over such pety things. Bad judgement, arrogance, pride, stupidity. I felt that we were on the brink on which there would be no return. Something happened. We reached the breaking point, but found that point of no use to either of us. I would say we are friends again. He is not my best anymore, but i feel that we have time to remake the bonds that were broken. We still have time, little, but enough.
I saw him at SNS yesterday. Catching up and the like. It was fun, i must say. I hadn't been to SNS since dan left, so it made me miss dan. We ended up reminiscing a while about past trips and people we knew. And there is now a debate as to what came first. Ian's pool gathering, or if it was his grad party.
That has a point. Whitney and i were trying to figure out just how we crossed that threshold of acquaintances to friends. Those two events, Ian's pool thing and his grad party were defining moments. And to find which came first gives us a better understanding of just how whit and me got to be the way that we are. And i am completely stupmed. Really.
Anyway, besides that we did some talking about the present. Learning evermore about our friends. I feel that we learn so much more when we piece things that one of us learns to the other. It makes for a clearer picture, you know. Plus, we both miss dan... a lot.
It was one year ago, that a girl was dressed in a goregeous crimson dress. She danced, she sang and toasted with her entire family. As the lights went low she waited anxiously for them to come. She got a call on her cell phone, i think, and went into the long hallway. At the end were three handsomely clad men. Tall, well, almost all of them, and she ran to them. Who she was swept up by first, i am not sure. But she looked to each of them in her own time and felt as blessed as one possibly could. She was in love in that moment, and many moments after. All that remains of that moment is a faded picture, someone's hand got in the way. But you can make out their faces and see what she felt. It was enchanting. It was my sister's wedding. It was a good day.
A few nights ago, i finished some homework and distinctly remember going to my light switch and turning off the lights. I went back to my bed and lie there watching Band of Brothers glow from my computer screen. I fell asleep some time in between and then i opened my eyes and the lights were on and a familiar face was only about two feet away from my own. I laid on my side and looked at him as he said my name in the same caring fashion as i believe he used to. I reached out to touch his hand and mine went right through his. I knew it was a dream, i had a feeling about it and as i thought that, he started to fade away. I closed my eyes and believed with all my heart that it was not a dream and his voice came back stronger and i cracked open my eyes and he was a more solid form. But the longer i looked at him, the more he faded. I closed my eyes again, in hopes that it would make him stay. I became very aware of every movement he made around me and how real everything felt. He climbed over me and onto my bed. I heard the bed creak simultaneous with his wiehgt shifting onto the bed. He covered the both of us under my comforter and laid his hand on my face. I could feel the warmth, as he turned my face towards his and kissed me.
I have only had a remarkably real dream like this one other time in my life. Every time i do, it scares me. Being able to feel things in a dream just as they are in real life boggles me mind about the sense of reality and how much our brains are capable of controlling. It also makes me wonder why them? Why did we do that? Most of my dreams are imitating real life with a twist, but i notice that in my dreams i act the same way as if it were actually happening. Then there are some that are just so out there, and i wonder, what the hell does it mean? If anything.
I talked to Brandon on Wednesday. That was trying time indeed. I never felt so dangerously close to losing a friendship before. Over such pety things. Bad judgement, arrogance, pride, stupidity. I felt that we were on the brink on which there would be no return. Something happened. We reached the breaking point, but found that point of no use to either of us. I would say we are friends again. He is not my best anymore, but i feel that we have time to remake the bonds that were broken. We still have time, little, but enough.
I saw him at SNS yesterday. Catching up and the like. It was fun, i must say. I hadn't been to SNS since dan left, so it made me miss dan. We ended up reminiscing a while about past trips and people we knew. And there is now a debate as to what came first. Ian's pool gathering, or if it was his grad party.
That has a point. Whitney and i were trying to figure out just how we crossed that threshold of acquaintances to friends. Those two events, Ian's pool thing and his grad party were defining moments. And to find which came first gives us a better understanding of just how whit and me got to be the way that we are. And i am completely stupmed. Really.
Anyway, besides that we did some talking about the present. Learning evermore about our friends. I feel that we learn so much more when we piece things that one of us learns to the other. It makes for a clearer picture, you know. Plus, we both miss dan... a lot.
It was one year ago, that a girl was dressed in a goregeous crimson dress. She danced, she sang and toasted with her entire family. As the lights went low she waited anxiously for them to come. She got a call on her cell phone, i think, and went into the long hallway. At the end were three handsomely clad men. Tall, well, almost all of them, and she ran to them. Who she was swept up by first, i am not sure. But she looked to each of them in her own time and felt as blessed as one possibly could. She was in love in that moment, and many moments after. All that remains of that moment is a faded picture, someone's hand got in the way. But you can make out their faces and see what she felt. It was enchanting. It was my sister's wedding. It was a good day.
posted by chelC | 9:26 AM
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