cOmE aS yOU ArE, AS a fRiEND
It's one of those perfect days of my life. They don't happen often, but when they do, I tend to relish in every delightful moment; Soaking in as much as i possibly can before it all slips away from me and i am trapped again in my mundane existence.
It's raining outside. A wonderful soft rain that falls straight down with big drops that flood the entire campus. When i have no particular place to go or anything in particular to do, i love the rainy days. I could just look out my big bay windows for hours and watch as the rain makes everything appear more gray. Watch how it dims the light of what could be a blinding, hot afternoon, and instead is a soft day with a cool breeze that could be any type of year, any season, any time.
I've had the most wonderfully lazy day that i have had in a while. I woke up early, showered, brushed my teeth, cleaned the kitchen, and then fell asleep to an episode of Law and Order. I woke up to my boyfriend, made lunch and then lazed about, watching the end of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and then Definitely, Maybe.
Watching movies like that, which have witty dialogue with a wonderful mix of love and humor and best friends. It reminds me of David, and makes me miss him. Which is funny because the characters in the story that always remind me of David and my relationship are the ones that starts as friends and end up falling in love. And we never will. But we'll be friends for always.
But today was one of the first times in a while that i was actually able to live in my apartment. Not like i was just taking a rest in between the times that i go to class. Like it's just a place to sit in a climate controlled existence, a stop on the journey and not a destination. I baked cookies, made a ham and cheese melt, and just watched the world outside, and a few nice moments from movies on TV. The only thing missing from my life here is a puppy. I'd really just like to have a puppy.
These are the kind of days that make me miss the life that i used to have. The life that included brandon in it on a daily basis. Dan and even scott seem like welcomed company at this point.
The sound of the rain on the asphalt reminds me of the day that brandon and i went to the playground at Prairie Vista and we smoked, talking about how i was in love with someone else and why no one was in love with him. Then the next time that we went there and we sat in his olds for about an hour or so. Maybe not even talking, i'm not quite sure how we ended up there or what we were even thinking or talking about. But i remember saying goodbye that night and how i felt like it really was goodbye forever. It wasn't, but you never know.
It's times like these that i am so surprised as to how well i can remember some things so vivdly. And somethings, the details, the big important ones, have fallen away from me, or i have pushed them from my memory on purpose.
I wonder how many more memories will go by the wayside.
It's raining outside. A wonderful soft rain that falls straight down with big drops that flood the entire campus. When i have no particular place to go or anything in particular to do, i love the rainy days. I could just look out my big bay windows for hours and watch as the rain makes everything appear more gray. Watch how it dims the light of what could be a blinding, hot afternoon, and instead is a soft day with a cool breeze that could be any type of year, any season, any time.
I've had the most wonderfully lazy day that i have had in a while. I woke up early, showered, brushed my teeth, cleaned the kitchen, and then fell asleep to an episode of Law and Order. I woke up to my boyfriend, made lunch and then lazed about, watching the end of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and then Definitely, Maybe.
Watching movies like that, which have witty dialogue with a wonderful mix of love and humor and best friends. It reminds me of David, and makes me miss him. Which is funny because the characters in the story that always remind me of David and my relationship are the ones that starts as friends and end up falling in love. And we never will. But we'll be friends for always.
But today was one of the first times in a while that i was actually able to live in my apartment. Not like i was just taking a rest in between the times that i go to class. Like it's just a place to sit in a climate controlled existence, a stop on the journey and not a destination. I baked cookies, made a ham and cheese melt, and just watched the world outside, and a few nice moments from movies on TV. The only thing missing from my life here is a puppy. I'd really just like to have a puppy.
These are the kind of days that make me miss the life that i used to have. The life that included brandon in it on a daily basis. Dan and even scott seem like welcomed company at this point.
The sound of the rain on the asphalt reminds me of the day that brandon and i went to the playground at Prairie Vista and we smoked, talking about how i was in love with someone else and why no one was in love with him. Then the next time that we went there and we sat in his olds for about an hour or so. Maybe not even talking, i'm not quite sure how we ended up there or what we were even thinking or talking about. But i remember saying goodbye that night and how i felt like it really was goodbye forever. It wasn't, but you never know.
It's times like these that i am so surprised as to how well i can remember some things so vivdly. And somethings, the details, the big important ones, have fallen away from me, or i have pushed them from my memory on purpose.
I wonder how many more memories will go by the wayside.
posted by chelC | 2:24 PM
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