THere aRe aDdictiOns tO fEeD and thERE arE MouThs tO PaY
Something i found out today, i am and always will remain the same person that i am. As much as i want to change and be the cynic that i so desperately wish i could be, i will always be an optomist. I will always beleive the best in people and i never give up. I have fronted for the past week that i don't give a shit what happens to those who aren't in my life anymore, but of course, we know that's not true. I love all of my friends, past and present. I just want things to be okay. I don't want to lose anyone. I always come back to life is too short to be so stupid. If i must spend three minutes a day, just a call that you may not answer, i tried. I will not wonder my entire life if i had picked up the phone what would have happend.
I met George Dill tonight. I have heard so many things about him. It's almost like i've known him for a year, although he it's completely different actually talking to someone and not just hearing stories and have people re-tell me things he has already said. He's a nice guy. He's a lot like all of the friends i have, being dan and brandon, ect. He's also smart. Pity he actually has his act together and is going back to college.
Today i started out with a relly bad moment. I was good laying in the sun until my dad came outside and told me my Nana went to the hospital. He didn't know why, or for how long, really anything. He just left me with the fact she wasn't doing well. So I layed there and thought about losing her. In turn, i lost it. And for some reason i thought of all the times i lost the people that i loved. And then thought about all the times i held on with all my strength. And for some reason i remembered New Year's. I thought about why i was there and then i thought about the deck. I remember fighting for my friendship. I was told that it was splitting apart. I tried to remember what i said. I remember not being able to fight it, i remember my words faltering. I remember that all i could do was hold on tightly with nothing but my arms and using all the energy in my body to bring back what was moving away. Back then the problems were so easy and i was not met with such resistance. Can i really win this time? Who knows, i'm going to try though.
I'm going to Cedar Point this week and i am going to see the counting crows on saturday. I am so excited. I can hardly contain myself. And then, school. It's going to be the best last week of my life.
I met George Dill tonight. I have heard so many things about him. It's almost like i've known him for a year, although he it's completely different actually talking to someone and not just hearing stories and have people re-tell me things he has already said. He's a nice guy. He's a lot like all of the friends i have, being dan and brandon, ect. He's also smart. Pity he actually has his act together and is going back to college.
Today i started out with a relly bad moment. I was good laying in the sun until my dad came outside and told me my Nana went to the hospital. He didn't know why, or for how long, really anything. He just left me with the fact she wasn't doing well. So I layed there and thought about losing her. In turn, i lost it. And for some reason i thought of all the times i lost the people that i loved. And then thought about all the times i held on with all my strength. And for some reason i remembered New Year's. I thought about why i was there and then i thought about the deck. I remember fighting for my friendship. I was told that it was splitting apart. I tried to remember what i said. I remember not being able to fight it, i remember my words faltering. I remember that all i could do was hold on tightly with nothing but my arms and using all the energy in my body to bring back what was moving away. Back then the problems were so easy and i was not met with such resistance. Can i really win this time? Who knows, i'm going to try though.
I'm going to Cedar Point this week and i am going to see the counting crows on saturday. I am so excited. I can hardly contain myself. And then, school. It's going to be the best last week of my life.
posted by chelC | 1:50 AM
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